Friday Workshop 10/5

I noticed, with the comments that were made on my Personal Essay Draft 1, that the majority of them had a lot to do with how I concluded my essay. It was mentioned a few times that with an essay about personal growth and development, that I should not leave the essay on a negative note. It was not my aim to do this in the beginning, I think what I was trying to do was show both sides to personal development and growth; that it isn’t always this magical thing where you wake up and realize something and then from then on you never have any issues regarding the topic ever again, as if it is something you can just flip a switch and fix. This is not how it works, and I meant to leave the reader with a sense of melancholy. After reading the comments I decided I agreed with them to a certain extent, and that I needed to expand on my conclusion in order to better convey how I wanted to end my essay originally. I have now just posted my second draft (previous post) in which I have expanded a lot more on my conclusion as well as fixed some things and re-wrote some parts here and there throughout my essay.